It may have been a while for all those who’ve publicly gotten a glimpse into my mind, but its been mere days for me. I open the “New Post” page more often than you would care to believe. As such, far too many drafts lay in the proverbial dust-ridden draft folder, never to be uncovered.
No I haven’t really been experiencing a writer’s block, or a lack of material to share on. The ideas are always there. Half the time, I can’t maintain a single train of thought long enough to document it. I am plagued by all my eyes can capture and my mind can process. Over the months (this phrase will not become popular and there is good reason why), there have been quite a few people who’ve spent considerable chunks of their time inundating my mind further with their expectations on the matter. The queries (read pressures) arise from the presumption that I don’t think enough, or that I am too selfish to share what I think.
For the record, this is far from the truth.
What IS the truth?
One, I am not nearly as perceptive as the paragraphs would suggest. The truth is, I’m growing too quickly for my mind to keep up. Whereas the events of my life are seemingly mundane to most, the reality is that, the lessons I am exposed to are so profound that I have too much to consider at the conclusion of any given day. There are maybe one or two people (and this really is the probable maximum) who may understand the genesis of these thoughts. And so for everyone else (maybe), I’m the quiet girl who has judgmental, tired and sometimes, angry eyes (again, maybe).
This isn’t an issue for me. It never has been. Well, I may very well be lying there. On most days, the lessons are welcome. Especially because I think I have distinct vein of naivety coursing through me. However, there are times the weight causes me to get home and black out mere hours after 7 (the humiliation of that sentence, ha). And so these thoughts compound the confines of my cranium and never find sufficient release.
There is no actual point to this post. Well, that isn’t true, there’s a point to everything. This (for me, anyway) is the beginning of record; the record of my Exodus. From a state of folly in the Almighty Kingdom of the Faithful and True, in pursuit of Righteousness, Love and Faith.
The attempt to capture a snapshot of each thought, motion and emotion in its most intense is the essence of this blog and maybe, just maybe along the way, I can be able to share just what the Lord means to me, has done for me, and everything that falls thereon. Yes, I will admit, there has also been cowardice and a fear that has hindered the sharing of my thoughts and observations thence. BUT the Word of God is clear, both as an encouragement and a warning, and that’s where I’ll pick it up from.
May my Soul never be Weary in the Presence of His Liberating Love.